Dictionary.com defines “expect” as…
1. to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of.
2. to look for with reason or justification.
3. to anticipate.
When I was younger, my mother would make sure I clearly understood the importance of following directions.
One morning on the way to school, she dropped me off at the bus stop and said, “I want that nasty room cleaned before I get home from work”.
“Ok”, I responded, as I smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and boarded the bus.
Upon her arrival home after work, she walked in, gave me a hug and kiss, then promptly made her way to my bedroom, where she expected my room to be clean, based on our earlier conversation.
After less than a minute of inspection, she returned to where I was and asked, “Nathan, Why didn’t you clean your room, like I asked?”
I responded in the most loving yet disobedient way, “Mom, I didn’t clean my room, but did you see the living room? I cleaned that perfectly”.
In her usual, lovingly instructional way she said, “Son, What I want you to do, is what I asked. If you would just do what I’ve asked, you would never have to do extra. Extra doesn’t mean much if what I requested wasn’t done. “
She taught me a very valuable lesson with her string of statements. In relationships, it is very easy to use my same response with our mates. It’s easy to be very selfish even though we know the following.
1. We know what to do for our mate.
2. We know what our mate likes.
3. We know how our mate likes it done.
Yet, we still take the lazy approach by doing things for our mate the way WE want to do them and then say the most ironic thing when asked, “Why you don’t do the things I like the way want them done…”
“I love him/her my way!”
The problem with that statement is all 5 words of it, lol!
Love is very, internally judged. We all have a personalized view of what LOVE means to us. For some it may mean money, diamonds, flashy vacations, and great night life activities. For others it may be romantic evenings, a great sex life, dates every now and then, and a roof over their head. Others may even feel like love is, commitment, friendship, long talks at night, and helping with anything they may need help with.
You are the ONLY one that can define what love means to you. Once you figure that out and can articulate it to others, you are well on your way to developing this important word called a “standards”. When standards aren’t met it will then be easy to evaluate.
Lastly, let’s not forget the big 3 lettered monster…”SEX”
This is another area that humans love to do THEIR way and care or not care if the receiver has a mutually good sexual experience.
The best way to avoid those awkward sexual experiences and “faked” moments is to wipe your sexual slate clean with your new interest and treat them just like you would a class in school that you are interested in. You pay attention and learn them inside and out in order to please them the way THEY want to be pleased.
The more you travel the same route, you also learn how to get there faster and when road blocks arise you can find other ways to still please!
I have learned in my 31 years of life that if you just follow directions you rarely get lost on the way to your destination!