Continuous Dating

Dictionary.com defines “continue” as…
1. to go on or keep on, as in some course or action.
2. to last or endure.
3. to go on with or persist in: to continue an action.
If you choose not to continually perform maintenance on your relationship it will be doomed to break down on you…
If you have ever found that the first 6 months of your relationship was the most exciting 180 days of your relationship then excitement can come again…One way or another!
The excitement you feel in the first 90 days of your relationship can often be described as the most mentally, physically, and emotionally arousing days you experience.
How and why does this happen? What makes it so exciting? What makes me want to talk to him all night long despite having to work in the morning? What makes me text her while coming very close to vehicular tragedy, just to respond quickly enough for her to clearly see that she was on my mind as well? What makes me spend way too long getting prepared just to see him? What makes me spend all day trying to plan out the perfect weekend for her?
These are all questions that we have, most likely, asked ourselves at some point or another during our dating timeline.
The reason, in my opinion, can fall under one fundamental reason…You were interested in them and wanted to make a great impression.
I know what some of you are saying to yourselves.
“That’s just how I am, I don’t TRY and impress anyone.”
You may be the guy that is considerate, attentive, and pulls out chairs and opens doors as a matter of routine. You may be the woman that is “jazzy” by nature, down to earth, and can cook and clean circles around even his mother.
Now if that’s the case, then cheers to you! You have been exempt from this post, lol! You exhibit a high standard of operation that we should all hope to be this way.
If you, however, don’t fall into that category then pay close attention. This may just save you some future problems.
Now that we have established that interest sparks the desire to impress, we need to figure out why???
This desire may be sparked by one of the following needs:
1. Emotional
2. Physical
3. Psychological
Those can also be expanded further into either long or short term needs. Either way, you tend to put A LOT of effort and consideration into “hooking” your “interest” and pulling them right out of the proverbial “dating pool” or in this case “dating pond”.
Now there are numerous ways to accomplish this and you just have to find the technique that fits your “fishing” style. For help…See below, lol!
In regards to your “interest”:
1. Be attentive/observant. Know her likes and dislikes. Increase his likes. Decrease his dislikes. . New outfit. New hair style. New interests. Bad mood today. Good mood today. Need a hug. Need more than a hug.
2. Communicate effectively. Figure out the best way for her to receive your message. Learn when, where, and how to deliver the message to him.
3. Grooming isn’t gay, lol! Fellas, it’s ok to keep your finger and toe nails cut for hopefully obvious reasons. Bad breath is just immature. Especially since there are these cool little inventions called breath mints.
4. Exercise. You don’t have to train to compete in the strong man competition, but a little exercise offers some benefits. Ladies, being flexible can come in handy too. Hopefully you’ll figure out the benefits of both sooner than later. Taking the steps and doing situps every night can provide benefit.
5. Pursue financial stability. You don’t have to be rich, although I’m sure that would be nice, but to be able to afford a couple dates a month would be advisable. It’s fine if he normally pays, but being able to treat him every now and then is attractive.
6. Be versatile. Be able to alternate between street smart, book smart, aggressive, passive, religious, sensitive, blunt, emotional, strong, classy, hood, etc. Why would a person choose someone with just personality type when they can have them all in you?
7. Be “Sex Intelligent”. Your aim should be to understand her body better than she does, both inside and out. Know exactly where to place the heating pad during that “hell week”. Additionally, know exactly which of his buttons to press, when, and what reaction it may cause. THIS IS IMPORTANT!
8. Be friends. Make them feel comfortable bringing you around friends and family. A woman with a good man loves to show him off to EVERYONE! Don’t make her regret it!
The things you do to and for a person when you are highly interested in them does not become any less interesting just because you know longer do those things.
What would make you think that just because you have lost the interest in GIVING means that they have lost the interest in RECEIVING?
Keep their cup full and hopefully they will never go thirsty!
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9 comments

  1. I have heard some people say that they don’t see the point in continually dating your mate. My reply: When you don’t do it; don’t be angry at the person that does it in your absence.

    I am not even amazed anymore at how little effort people put into maintaining their relationships. After 18yrs of dating, I can name MAYBE two guys that have put in the same 100% that I did. Funny thing is, they still ended up being unfaithful. Imagine that….lol (cause I can laugh about it now).

    Some individuals put more emphasis on how bright the paint job shines on their BMW; or how expensive that outfit is that she is going to wear to the club. What ever happened to “giving AND receiving”?

    I get so disgusted when I hear men and women say that “relationships are hard”…Actually, a relationship is no more difficult than that great job you wanted. You networked your ass off to get it. Now you are promoted and are working your ass off to keep it. So, if you are that willing to bend over backwards for someone who probably could care less about you; why would you not break your back for the person that you call you husband or wife?

    I consider myself a solid lover. If I love you, it is from the top of your head to the bottom of your feel…..and all the shit in between. I only expect the same to be reciprocated to me. What is the harm in that?

    I will say this: if my glass is ever half empty, I will be filling it with someone else….. 🙂

    SN: great post….if I didn’t say that already…. :))

  2. Mr. Holmes: I have some things that I wrote to my friend that I would like your opinion on. Wanna know if I can post them on here. They are kinda Zane-ish so, I gotta ask permission before I reveal my X rated material……lol

  3. We all need a give and take relationship. When one is doing all the giving they tend to grow weary of not getting anything. Now if the foundation of your relationship solid then you may be able to handle this, but if not, trust that person will start giving and receiving from someone else. Relationships are suppose to be hard. If they were easy there would be no need for marriage counselors and divorce attorneys. Not to mention I’d have one.

  4. Very well written, Mr. Holmes. I like that you try to give it from both male and female perspectives (and I included “try” because we both know that you’re slightly biased, being a man and all). 😉 Great advice though.

  5. I totally agree on continuous dating…think about it: if you continue to stay “brand new” in a relationship, it never gets old…and your other half shouldnt need to look else where…its not about getting that man/woman, its about keeping them….but only if they are worth keeping…lol. And one more point…choose what kind of relationship you want to be in with this person…..you want a forever loving passionate romance,a best friend that you can talk to about anything and have fun with… or do you just want someone to grow old with and put up with that wont cheat or hit you…if that is the case keep doing what you are doing….it might work for some people

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